AFI Top 100 – #81: Spartacus   EXPLICIT

We review film #81: “Spartacus”…the 1960 film where everyone is Spartacus.  Spoilers.  Not really spoilers, it’s a scene that even people who haven’t seen the movie know.

I am Spartacus.

My! There is a lot of homosexual undertones in this film. Also, I like your Obi-Wan pony tail.

Lindsay says "It was ok."
Jeff says "Not a fan."

1. Michael Douglas is not Spartacus, Russell Crowe is not Marcellus and Gene Simmons (of KISS) is not Varinia.
2. Russell Crowe is a terrible painter.
3. No matter how far away Spartacus and Varinia are from one another, they can still manage to stop and glance at one another.
4. Learned the word "pulchritude" (meaning beauty).
5. The spear guards went to the "Stormtrooper School of Aiming".
6. Antoninus is secretly Houdini and all he can make appear is eggs. Kind of limiting yourself there as a magician, you know.
7. In a lagoon with a giant open clearing on half it, there's a single leaf that hangs and conveniently covers the woman's boobs.
8. ¾ of Italy during this time were all lavish matte paintings.
9. It takes 1200 hours for an army to march into position for a 15 minute fight!
10. Giant logs of fire…pretty fucking cool.
11. Kirk Douglas is still alive. Holy cow, the man is 96 years old.